* Centre appoints permanent care-taker Governor to TN
Chennai, Sept 21: Tamil Nadu has been in a state of suspended animation, no, make it, animated suspense, for a year now.
Starting on the night of September 22, 2016 the then Chief Minister J Jayalalithaa was, in acute emergency, admitted to what eventually seemed to be a private prison.
Anyway, the next day there was a press release from the State government that the ‘acute emergency’ for which the then Chief Minister was brought to the hospital was — rim shot — dehydration.
Okay, we forgot to mention the other affliction: General fever.
If you thought this was bizarre, the engines of suspenseful drama were just being ignited. For, weeks after weeks after weeks, we in the media had to make do with all manner of speculation, gossip, innuendo, rumour, Chinese whisper, tarot reading, magic 9 ball as regular news, as there was no way of knowing what was happening to the then Chief Minister. Even as doctors from every field of expertise were treating her, we were constantly told by way of official communication that Jayalalithaa was doing fine.
We also had politicos and Ministers from the Centre and other States visiting her and then telling us that she was doing fine. All of them were satisfied of Jayalalithaa’s health based on — why not? — their deep imagination. Seriously, no one, it emerged later, had been even taken to the same floor where Jayalalithaa was said to be.
And in December last, Jayalalithaa unfortunately passed away amidst another round of drama bringing the curtain down on, well, nothing, as more drama and theatrics followed. In fact, the most strangest things have happened since then, and Tamil Nadu has verily become the theatre of the absurd.
In the event, whatever we in the media mostly predict to happen, usually something worse, something unimagined — actually something unimaginable — happens. We mean, who could have foreseen that the
biggest threat to the AIADMK would come from within the AIADMK, while the nominated arch rival DMK is basically reduced to making just cursory noises as opposition.
As you can see, only a stupid will try to foretell what will transpire in TN these days. Luckily for you, you have Crank’s News. We in Crank’s News wear our stupidity with great pride. We are just made for
this role. So, here are our top 5 picks that can happen in the near future in the State:
1) Finally, a permanent Governor
After copping a lot of criticism for not appointing a full-time Governor for Tamil Nadu — as of now Ch Vidyasagar Rao, who is the Governor of Maharashtra, is only an acting Governor — the Central
Government finally relents to appoint Vidyasagar Rao as the permanent acting Governor.
This will help the Centre shut every one’s mouth while maintaining the status quo of doing nothing.
But what’s a permanent acting Governor? We are guessing that he will get salary from two States. Otherwise, he can continue to — in the time honoured gubernatorial traditions — do nothing.
2) EC spots R K Nagar on the map
Some of you might remember that J Jayalalithaa was the MLA of R K Nagar before R K Nagar was ripped off from the map by Vardah cyclone, taking along with it its MLA.
Okay, on a serious note, what we really mean is R K Nagar is remaining MLA-less since Jayalalithaa’s demise. A bye-election is due there.
But by the looks like of it, the EC seems to have appointed — taking a leaf out of the AIADMK’s book — Jayalalithaa as the permanent MLA of R K Nagar.
But before this year-end or in the fullness of time, whichever is later, the EC is expected to identify RK Nagar in Chennai map.
Following which it will dispatch officials to check the feasibility of conducting bye-poll there.
Who knows, we may even have an election there. Your grandchildren will see that.
3) T T V Dhinakaran group to takeover Club Mahindra
From Koovathur resort to Orange County in Coorg, it has been a paid vacation for the MLAs in T T V Dhinakaran group. As we see no likelihood of the stalemate being resolved any sooner, we think that the most likely thing to happen is: T T V Dhinakaran to takeover Club Mahindra Holidays, so that his MLAs will have a wider basket of vacation locations to choose from. It is a win-win for every one, including
public, because the time share company marketing executives will finally stop calling the general public.
4) All eyes on the court
The Madras High Court has put on hold the floor test even while refusing to stay the disqualification of 18 MLAs by the Assembly Speaker. The matter, we think, will eventually end up at the doors of
the Supreme Court.
The Apex Court will, based on a thorough reading of the Constitution, will adjourn the case.
Adjournment is your birth right and you shall have it always. This is guaranteed right in the preamble of the Constitution.
5) Government gets down to governance
Okay, anything can happen. Especially in Tamil Nadu. So does that mean that the ruling dispensation finally forgets party politics and starts focusing on governance?
Ha. Ha. Ha. That’s a nice one. Even for imagination that is a a bit too much.
On the other hand, what may really happen is the people resigning to the fact — like they have in the case of Ward Councillors — they are actually better off without elected representatives.
The government generally works better when there is none to govern it.