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        Were it not for the Left parties what would we all do for our daily quota of humour? It is a staggering thought as one grapples with uncontrollable laughter the 'protest' that the Left parties organised in Chennai yesterday against the USS Nimitz docking here. It is elementary logic that if you are opposed to some event and don't want that to happen, you go into protest mode much before the actual event takes place. But the Left parties, with a terrific sense of comedy but little sense of timing, orchestrated a demonstration in the evening long after Nimitz had anchored near Chennai port in the morning. Last heard, some deck hands on Nimitz were still to recover from the laughing bout that yesterday's protest elicited. This is symptomatic of the Left's existence: The clock is forever ticking past them even as they seem to be stuck in the quicksand of reversing time.

        Habit, rather than reason, is at the core of whatever the Communists do. Protest rallies are one such thing. Anything against the US is another. But apart from comedy and unreasoning, the Left has also been highly duplicitous. The comrades of this country have got a strong retort from the US Ambassador to India. David Mulford has already call their bluff by saying that Nimitz was sent to India at the invitation of the Indian government, a government, if the Left needed any new reminders, supported by it. Logically, it can be argued the Left has a hand in the invitation that the government sent out to Nimitz. Logical too it will be when it is said that the Left is protesting something to which it has been party to. This is classical Communism. But mind you these are not isolated acts of stupidity. In Kerala, you have V S Achuthanandan suspended from his party's politburo membership but he continues to be the Chief Minister, which post is usually given only to a member of the politburo. Contradictions generally don't seem to matter to the Communists. Otherwise would you have the Leftist West Bengal government fighting a vexatious battle against the people for the sake of a capitalist corporate in Singur?

        Holding on to a vision that is a crude phantasmagoria, the Communists are only trivialising issues with their misplaced and selective indignation. The protest against USS Nimitz only showcases their farce. First they opposed it on grounds of radiation hazard, not even bothering to think that indeed there was such a risk then some of its crew ought to be very sick indeed as it has been operating for 56 years. At any rate, this is also not the first time a nuclear-powered warship has docked in Indian waters. Ten foreign naval ships have already been here, and there are well-established procedures in place to ensure radiation safety. Indian Navy itself had operated a nuclear-powered submarine (INS Chakra) not long ago. Secondly, they opposed Nimitz on the grounds that India was militarily getting close to a 'warmonger'. Recently, President Abdul Kalam made a call to newspapers to continue the tradition of political cartoons on the frontpage. But with the Leftists around do we need separate cartoons?